It was not what I expected — In 2001, I met a man that my heart instantly recognized as the man I had been looking for my whole life. I was interviewing him for an article I was writing. He was the trails manager at a prestigious public garden. When I walked down the path to his…

And how it still informs my life — When Mom died last summer, I found a stack of thank you notes squirreled away in her desk. They were mostly from people I didn’t know, although some were from family members. The theme of these notes was Mom’s generosity. One was from a woman who ran a program in…

Giving up our independence is the hardest thing most of us will ever do. — If we are lucky enough to live into our 80s or 90s, most of us will lose at least some of our independence. Perhaps we will be unable to do the daily housekeeping tasks we have done easily in the past. Maybe we will have to hire someone to mow…

My first Mother’s Day without her — I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. I opened my eyes in my bed at my mother’s house, but she is not here. Not in body, anyway. Her spirit is all around me. Her ashes are in the garden, right outside the door. But more than that, her…

Pondering what a journal-keeper should do with the record of their life — Journaling is the map of my human experience and the compass of my soul. Bethany Auriel-Hagan I have been a journal keeper for most of my life. There have been many times that I have started and stopped, only partially filling a journal before it was abandoned to the busyness…

Some tips that will make it easier for both of you to navigate this confusing time — When I was deciding, as a new horticultural therapist, which population I would like to work with, adults with dementia were at the bottom of my list. I admit I was afraid of people with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. I didn’t know how to relate to them. They were always…

Changes I am making to make sure this is not my fate, too — My dad had a massive heart attack when he was 61 years old. I was 37, and I was not ready to be fatherless. I miss my daddy every single day, but I also think a lot about how I can make sure I don’t end up like him. When…

A simple question to ask yourself and others — How often have you been upset about something and you needed someone to just give you a big hug? Or maybe you just want someone to listen as you process, grieve, or vent. But then your partner/parent/friend jumps in with their own way of dealing with your upset and it…

Sewing our hearts together stitch by stitch — I sat in my sewing room and cried hot tears of grief. The absence of my mother is an ache that lives deep within my bones. Some days I hardly notice; other days the ache pulls me down into the depths of myself, making me want to curl up with…