How to Ask for What You Need in Relationships
A simple question to ask yourself and others
How often have you been upset about something and you needed someone to just give you a big hug? Or maybe you just want someone to listen as you process, grieve, or vent.
But then your partner/parent/friend jumps in with their own way of dealing with your upset and it just sets you off even more, because their way is not what you needed at all. This is where being really clear about what you need can go a long way toward helping you get what you need and strengthen your relationships at the same time.
In the Well newsletter, a subscription newsletter by the NY Times, an article by Jancee Dunn gives an easy way to combat this disconnect between what you need and what you get. When someone you love is upset, instead of assuming you know what they need, ask them this question: “Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?”
This is a great question to add to our relationship toolkit. It is also a great question to ask ourselves before we approach someone and expect them to show up for us in the way we need them to.
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