How to Nurse a Grudge

Letting it go is not an option

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

We all have experienced the hurt, betrayal and offense that comes when someone wrongs us. What happens next is the difference between living with emotional freedom or becoming enslaved by our anger and indignation. When we insist on nursing our grudges, they morph into vampires, sucking the life out of us.

In order to nurse a grudge, there are a few rules we must follow. Fortunately, these are as easy as falling off a log. Our very developed ego defense system will kick in and do the work for us. No problem.

Rules for Nursing a Grudge

1. Stop talking to the person who offended you. Do not give them an opportunity to explain themselves or try to make amends. If they say they don’t know what they did to offend you, don’t tell them. Let them figure it out. They really know what they did — they just want you to tell them. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
2. Never, ever, ever try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. Their fears, trauma, and resulting unskillful behaviors are no excuse. There is absolutely NO reason, ever, for someone to behave that way, no matter what they have gone through in the past. If they did something to offend you, they are unworthy of any compassion. End of story.