I am Finally Breaking the Family Curse of Battling My Body
From now on, I am allowed to look this way
I saw a photo of myself today as I was going through my phone deleting photos. My first response to the photo was, “I look fat.” I paused after I thought that and looked again. I softened the judgement and really looked at the picture. I was playing with my three-year old granddaughter and we were both lauging. How sad that there was so much joy encapsulated in that photo and all I could do was think how fat I looked.
When I focused on the joy in that photo instead of on how I looked, I realized how lucky I am to have so much love and happiness in my life. A few extra pounds is inconsequential.
At that moment I made up my mind to allow myself to look that way. What if now, at this joyful stage of my life, I allow myself to let that go and just be exactly as I am? It has never occurred to me to give myself permission to be anything other than thin. Because of that, my body has been unacceptable for a long time, now.
Worrying about our weight is a curse that has been handed down through the generations of women in our family. My grandmother was always worried about her weight, right up until she died. She was a harsh judge of each of her daughters, and my mother never got over my grandmother telling…
