I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time right now. I feel for you. I have a tendency towards melancholy myself and have to work hard sometimes to shake it. It’s hard when your heart is open and you feel compassion for others. And the sands through the hourglass - that’s hard, too! I’m a little behind you but I can get caught up in counting years left and it gets scary. But I have learned to do things that get me out of my head and into the moment- like going outside for a long walk, or getting out my watercolors and playing with color like I did as a child.
Please know that this is temporary. You’re barely beyond a long arduous health issue and a long anticipated trip. All of that was exhausting for your body and your spirit. Please be gentle with yourself. And take lots of walks!! And give yourself time.
Sending big hugs. 🤗 ❤️