Is Estrangement Always the Parent’s Fault?
The opinion is divided, but here are some things to consider
No matter how sudden or abrupt it might seem, estrangement is a problem with a history. — Tina Gilbertson
When a teen or adult child estranges themselves from a parent, the question arises, “Who’s at fault?” Is it always the parent’s fault that the child walked away? Is it the adult child’s fault? Do both parent and child bear some of the responsibility?
The answers to each of those questions is No. Yes. Maybe. It depends on the circumstances.
Looking at all possible angles can help us pause before we jump to judgement about someone else’s estrangement. Just because our experience is one way, it is not possible to assume that all others are the same.
When Parents are Not at Fault
When a child suffers from mental illness, has a drug addiction, has been influenced by the other parent or other family members, or is breaking away to individuate — these may all be times when the parent truly bears no responsibility for the estrangement.
If the parent is a victim of parental alienation by the other parent, or of abuse by the child, then they are certainly not to be held accountable. It is harmful when…
