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Is Self-Love the Same as Narcissism?

True self-love requires courage, not bravado

Beth Nash Bruno
5 min readSep 28, 2021
Photo by Victoria Aleksandrova on Unsplash

The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently. — Pema Chodron

What is Self-Love?

We live in the era of self-love. We are told we deserve to practice self-care, say positive, encouraging things to ourselves and to remind ourselves how awesome we are. We are encouraged to take time for calming, lavender bubble baths, chocolates, manicures, and movie nights. But saying nice things to ourselves and bubble baths do not reach the core of what it really means to practice self-love.

Practicing self-care is nice, but it can keep us floating on the surface without ever connecting with our true selves. Pampering ourselves does not necessarily make us feel better about ourselves. Nor does sugar-coating our human flaws and telling ourselves we are awesome. This is not self-love. It is self-deception.

When we practice this kind of fluffy self-love, we never drop down into our authentic selves for a look around. Self-care and self-love as it’s presented in popular culture can actually prevent us from confronting the truth about ourselves. It can keep us…

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Beth Nash Bruno
Beth Nash Bruno

Written by Beth Nash Bruno

Human learning to be human. Writing in hopes of getting there.

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