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It’s OK to Not Be OK
You don’t have to be happy and positive all the time
Have you ever felt guilty because you were feeling sad, angry, or disappointed? Have you berated yourself because you don’t believe you have a right to feel a certain way? Telling yourself that others have it worse, that you really have nothing to complain about, that you need to buck up and get over it are all ways we have learned to dismiss our difficult emotions. So we try to force ourselves to just smile and be happy. Most of us learned this as children.
When I was growing up, “negative” emotions were snuffed out as soon as they were exhibited. Our feelings were dismissed as inappropriate and unnecessary. Being told that “If you don’t quit crying I will give you something to cry about” is a sure way to teach the concept that certain emotions are not acceptable. Being told to “Dry your tears” or “Stay in your room until you can straighten up” are other ways that adults sent that message. It is not because those adults were monsters, but because they were also not allowed to express those difficult emotions either. They were perpetuating what they learned. When we are not comfortable with our own negative emotions, we have no capacity to hold space for others’ feelings.
The positive thinking movement has taught us that we are responsible for our thoughts, so if we are…
