Joe - I could relate to so much of this as I am caring for my own mother. I know exactly what you mean when you say you realize wanting her to be happy is selfish - I realized that, too. I can't do it for her, and I have to be ok with letting her be unhappy. It is not my job to fix her, rather to love her as she is as long as I have her. Thank you for sharing your experience. It makes me feel less alone.