Joel, I lost my dearest friend-my mom - almost 19 months ago. What I can tell you is that grief is not linear. You probably know that, but it’s good to be reminded. Sometimes I almost feel like I’m betraying her memory because I am enjoying life and the pain is minimal. Then, out of the blue I will be rolled over and ground into the sand by a wave of grief. I recently knitted my very first sweater. As soon as I made the last stitch I fell to pieces and sobbed for an hour. Mom was going to teach me to knit a sweater but died before she could. Grief is so multi-layered and complex.
I’m so glad you are finding your way forward. Always remember there’s no “right” way to do this.
Sending love. ❤️