Linda - If you said to her what you just said to me I feel that she would be receptive. If you and she could first establish that you care about her and value her friendship, then maybe she would be open to a subtle sign from you that she needs to lower her voice. The two of you could work out together what that sign would be - either you tug your earlobe, lay your hand on her arm or some other sign that would fell safe for you both.

If you emphasize that you have a sensory processing issue (just projecting, but it sounds like that might be what you are dealing with) then I bet she would not take it personally, but rather be willing to moderate her behavior for your sake. It would also help her with her other relationships, as well, most likely.

If you approach her with love and compassion and she gets offended, then you will have to accept that she is not someone who needs to be in your life.

I am wishing you courage to address this and the best of outcomes. ♥