Melissa — What I would say is that part of your healing journey is to accept that your mother may not be capable of doing her own healing. I know mine isn’t. Her unhealed trauma and old wounds show up every day, and I have to (over and over and over) forgive her for not being able or willing to deal with them. I have learned to extend her compassion for being the broken human she is.

You may find this article beneficial:

https://psiloveyou.xyz/stop-expecting-your-parents-to-be-what-they-cannot-be-47258f58f657

I wish you healing for yourself, freedom from the need to make your mom be anything other than what she is, and above all, peace. ♥