Oh my dear- how heartbreaking this is. I learned of my daughter’s marriage through facebook and I felt such grief for being excluded from this moment in her life. A grandchild you may never meet is excruciating!
I am not always wise, but here is my best advice.
First- allow yourself to grieve. This is a terrible blow and you deserve to acknowledge how much it hurts.
Second- let go of your attachment to how things are supposed to be. Life rarely fulfills our expectations.
Third- start now writing love letters to a little one you may never meet. Don’t burden them with your grief. Fill them with your joy for their presence in the world. Let them know who you are so that they can know you loved them and feel connected to you when they one day read your letters.
Fourth- find a little person to pour your love onto, whether it’s a grandchild, a neighbor’s child or a stranger. Choose a child from the local Angel Tree to lavish gifts on this Christmas. Do it in honor of your new grandchild.
Fifth- be gentle with yourself. This is a grief you did not ask for. Know you are in good company. Millions of other parents are suffering just like you. Send them all love and turn that love back on yourself.

You’ll survive this. Believe me, it does get easier. I am sending you so much love. ❤️