Phil, Thanks for reading and I appreciate your question. It is not a question that is easy to answer because we all have such different experiences, but I do know that one of the answers to your question is that we have to set boundaries in all our relationships. Sometimes, we are actually enabling people to continue treating us badly by not setting boundaries. Permitting bad behavior is not the same as allowing people to fix themselves. I think that when the ways a person is broken is affecting our lives negatively, we have to decide whether they can stay in our lives or not. But trying to fix them is not an option. You are right that some people will NEVER figure it out — and, some don’t even know they are broken; they think the problem is out there. The premise of my article is more about protecting ourselves from the suffering that is caused when we think we can fix people, when in reality we can’t. You have to decide how much is enough and remember that the only person you have any control over is you. Choosing to exclude toxic people from our lives is definitely a viable option when it comes to self-preservation. But learning to accept people as they are, knowing they will never change is also a worthy goal, provided you are also setting boundaries that prevent them from harming you.

Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful response. I hope I helped even a little.